Some Food for thought

All too often relationships go a rye when one of the partners gets too self focused. Relationships can not work well when one or both people are overly selfish. So many couples walk through my door looking for help and often get discouraged when they come to the realization that a big problem is not just their spouse, as they thought, but their own selfishness. 

Brainspotting; What to expect

Where you look affects how you feel,” this is the phrase coined by Dr. David Grand Ph.D, the founder of Brainspotting (2003).  Brainspotting is a therapy unlike any typical talk therapy experience. It is a model that needs no explaining, analyzing, understanding, defining or self reflection. The only thing you need to do is open the door to mindfully connect with your body and allow your brain to do its work. 

The Four Horsemen

John Gottman, Ph.D. is a leader in the marriage counseling world. He has been researching couples and how they interact for decades. His research has brought a wealth of knowledge to relationships and counseling practices. One of his well known areas of research is the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. This is a metaphor depicting the end of times in the New Testament which he now uses to depict communication styles that, according to his research, can predict the end of a relationship.

So what do they each entail? We will go through these but additionally, here's a guide

Coping Strategies to Deal With Infidelity

Everybody copes. Coping is necessary to move through life. Anything that is thrown at us, we
need to learn how to cope with. The problem is, not everyone knows or chooses the helpful and
healthy way to cope. Many people choose the unhelpful, unhealthy, “feel good in the moment”
way to cope to get through it. Unfortunately, that is not going to help anyone in the long run.

5 Steps to Manage After Infidelity

So here you are completely shocked, you have no words and you suddenly are numb. The spouse you once thought you knew inside and out has revealed to you a side you never fathomed existed. They shared with you the reality of their infidelity. The emotions you feel, if you are able to feel any, are so overwhelming you are unsure of what to do next.

5 Surprising Emotions From an Affair

5 Surprising Emotions From an Affair

What feelings come to mind when you think about the possibility of your spouse or significant other cheating on you? I am sure just even having that thought makes your blood boil or your stomach turn. Rightfully so, because the thought of your partner betraying you elicits anger, sadness and possibly even fear. There is nothing positive about the unfaithfulness of a partner; though there are some surprising emotions that can be experienced.

8 Causes of Infidelity and Betrayal

There are common signs or factors that can potentially lead to infidelity and I want to discuss those here with you because this can be helpful for those of you who might be a marriage where it may not be great and infidelity has not occurred but the possibility is not out of reach. It is important to not take our marriage for granted, also to be aware of the emotional state of our marriage.